What's Up Peeps

I feel like I have neglected this blog. I don't know why I haven't done a post lately. Well I do know I have just been too lazy to do it. My life has been a bit uneventful (sorta kinda) Next week Sir will be here. I think we are long over due when it comes to being together. I had some ideas for posts but now that I am trying to write nothing comes to my mind. well nothing that I want to share at this time. Tomorrow is another day maybe I will make another post then...lol

Day 4 of 30 Days of Truth

Today's post is on something I have to forgive someone for. I am pretty much a laid back person I get angry quick but I also forgive quickly too. With that said I will say that I probably only have 3 persons that I don't like (former friends) and if I had to forgive someone for something, I would have to forgive them for being bad friends.

CRAPPY MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two days with a limited of sleep is taking a toll on me. I am in such a horrible MOOD! I just want to scream and on top of that my eyes are burning (I need to get my glasses repaired)! Trying to stay positive but it is not always easy. I remember when I used to be able to function on limited sleep. Seems like those days are gone and now I turn into a grouch is i can't sleep for 8hours a night. 

Current Mood: Grumpy and Moody (don't stare at me too hard because I just might cuss you out today..lol No not really (just maybe)

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for...

In all honesty, the first thing that came to my mind is not something I want to share over the internet. Nevertheless, the answer I am going with is lying to my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship is something that I have to forgive myself for. I think I am not over it because I think about how much issues we had and we really could have avoided some of the hardships we had if I had just been honest with him from the beginning. I don't know why I haven't let that go yet, especially since it has been almost five years now. But thats my answer. 

Day 2; Something That I love about Myself

I honestly cannot think about something that I love about myself. I like a lot of things about myself but I guess I would have to say that I don't prejudge people. I always give people a chance to prove themselves before I make assumptions. I try to be opinion minded, and I am really generous sometimes too generous. I love my sense of humour and I love my overall personality. (Did I really say I couldn't thing of something in the beginning? My bad I thought of something..lol)

Day 1 Something I hate about myself.

This was easy for me to think about something I hate about myself. Sure hate is a strong word and in a perfect world I would love everything about myself but truth is I am sure everyone can find something they hate about themselves. The thing I hate most about myself isn't a superficial or  physical thing, what I hate about myself if my inability to complete things. I have started so many things that I have never finished it is ridiculous. When I was younger I didn't see it as a problem because I always told myself it is not a big deal I have time to finish it. But as I get older I am realising that starting things and not finishing it is a waste of my time. The problem is I have no idea how to move forward and correct this bad habit that I have. It is easy to say that if I start something I should work on it until I am finished but I get bored so easily that its hard for me to finish things I start sometimes.  I will give you a prime example, I actually started this post over a week ago. I would say 10 days ago and I am just posting it. Yea it is that serious and I am this bad at it...lol

30 days of Truth

Long story short, I found this on someones blog and decided I would do it too... I thought why not participate? It will give me something to blog about in between trying to think about things to blog about.  


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Life Don't Give Do Overs (CoKe Soda Ramblings)

I am sure everyone at some point in their life wishes they could go back and change some of the things they did in the past. Or maybe take up and opportunity that they let pass by. I know I have a lot of things that I would love to do over/change in my life. Unfortunately, it is not possible.  The fact of the matter is, all we are destined for is to continue life one day at a time until the time we have has expired and we most leave this place that only gives us one chance to get things done. Sometimes that seems unfair because some people really don't get that much time to do anything.On the other hand if you take advantage of the time you do have and you do things the way you want it done why have regrets? Where does the need to do things over come from? Why is it even a desire for most? Just think about think about what answers you come up with. Share if you wish.

Coke Soda Keeps me Awake...

Yea the title says it all. I cannot drink coke soda cause then I will be staring at my laptop screen with nothing to do except try to think of what I can do on the internet. The funny part is my eyes are burning because they want to be closed so badly but my mind is racing just I just drank a cup of coke soda! (well I did but that's besides the point!). What did I do to deserve this? I was thirsty and didn't think about it before I drank the coke. I know that I can't handle my caffeine but did that deter me from drinking the coke soda???? NOPE IT DIDN'T. Anyways enough of my idleness I am going to bed. I rather stare at the tv anyways. Good night PEEPS I am off to bed.

What's Up?

It has been a while since I posted anything on this blog. Truth is I don't have anything to post about. I have been posting on my other blog about my weight loss journey. I started a 30 day challenge that encourages (read forces) me to exercise everyday twice a day. I am only on day 5 but so far it is going good. Additionally, I am learning a lot about myself. I am realising that sometimes it good to challenge yourself because it gives you opportunities to reflect on your work ethics and it gives you a chance to change through trial and error things you may want to change about yourself. I am learning that it is important to set goals for yourself because it provides a focus. Wondering aimlessly through life doesn't get you anywhere because you have no idea where you are going. It is like Tom Hanks at the end of the movie castaway, his life was not the way he had left it and he found himself at a cross road and had no idea which route to take because he had no directions to follow. Goals gives us a direction to travel in. 

Are you trying to achieve something? (Tips)

Write it down and then write down what you need to do to make those things happen. Give yourself a set time to achieve those goals be realistic, give yourself the time you think you would need in order to accomplish those goals. Reflect on how things are going, don't beat yourself up about it if you stumble along the way, shat happens just pick yourself up and try and again try again (little bit of Aaliyah for yall)... Finally Good Luck

Feeling Better

It really helps to have someone to talk to when you're feeling bad. Sir thank you so much for being that person. Ik hou van je. Je bent mijn engel...lol imagine me saying engel...lol HAHA that's funny 

Depression...

I have battled with depression for so long that I can barely remember when it started. About three years ago my depression had peaked and there were times I felt like i was going over the edge. I was on depression meds for a while and it did make me feel goodish but I also gained five lbs after taking them for a week. So I stopped taking them and the sadness came back.  But thats another story for another day. 

The last year and a half i would say that I have been able to manage my depression (with the help of God and   Sir) but now it feels like it is trying to take hold of me again. I have been trying to fight back tears for the last three days now and I really don't know what to do. I tell myself this will pass just try to stay positive and happy but the self coaching only makes it harder for me to hold back the tears. What I hate most about depression is that it sneaks up on you and it overwhelms you and it makes you feel like you don't have control on your life and that everything is way worse than it truly is. Nevertheless, I have made up my mind that I will not be a victim of depression. 

Rude People Rant

Since when is it the in thing to be rude? It is like everyone (well a large majority of persons) act like there isn't anything wrong with being rude! Are you kidding me? Last week in my oral communication class we had to give a speech about ourselves. One girl mentioned her dynamic pastor someone who she had great respect for and in the middle of her explaining what she liked about her pastor and another girl blurted out, "you talking about that sissy (gay) man?"

The whole class was shock that the other girl had the audacity to make a statement like that about the pastor. If he is a sissy that is between him and God how is that affecting anyone else's life???? Come on seriously???

Today I went to the store and I held the door open for this lady because she was struggling with her bags and she didn't open her mouth to say thank you yet. I was thinking (out loud) Miss is you serious??? Thank you should already be in your vocabulary but if you need me to teach you how to use it I can. She turned to look at me but the expression on her face read I know you aren't talking to me. I could have just left her there and not helped her with the door, hell i should have just left her there. I honestly do not have any patience for rude people. 

I swear the next person who is rude to me today is going to get it! 

Random Post: Just thoughts.

What can I say I miss Sir to pieces, every moment I spend with him is like total bliss for me. Even though, we aren't together right now the thought of me being with him brings joy to my soul. He just found out that he would be coming here three days earlier than we had planned originally in December. Can someone say I am gonna have a holly jolly Christmas?

Besides that, I had a good day so far, I am behind as far as my lifestyle change goes but thats OK I am not going to be hard on myself about it; I realise that everything is done in the time it's suppose to be done. Sometimes we try to fight against the things that are meant to happen and sometimes we fight for things that for which we aren't prepared. I am certain that I will be able to lose the weight and be healthy for the first time in my life.  

Regardless, I thank God for so many things, I really couldn't wish for a better life. Through the struggles and the hardships I was able to grow stronger and become the person I am today. 

Already changing my plans

Today was supposed to be the day that I would take steps to living a healthier lifestyle but I am already considering postponing it to Wednesday because i don't have enough food in the house to create healthier meals... I feel so disappointed already because I was sure that I would do it today... I also feel disappointed in myself because I feel like I am making excuses.

Anyways we will see I am still going to exercise today though, I have this dvd called walk away the lbs I used to do it a lot before but I stopped before I got in the habit of doing it. I think I have the full set it start at 1mile and I think it goes up to a 6mile walk. I like doing that work out because it  is easy to follow and I can get through the program and still fell like I got some exercise in it. 

I have decided that I will make my weight loss blog public. That way I would feel more accountable and maybe that will give me the push I need to do what I need to do... 

New Journeys

Starting  on Monday I am going to be starting four new "journeys" to help me become the person I want to be. First I am going to start taking better care of my skin. I have suffered from acne since I was about 15/16 and at the age of 26 I am still struggling to get clearer skin. My second journey is a healthy lifestyle/weight loss journey. The third is taking better care of my hair and finally I am going to take better care of my health. The final one is a bit different from the weight loss journey because it has more to do with me getting my thyroid levels under control and taking my medication the way I should. 

I must say that I am completely motivated to doing this so I know it will work. I created two new blogs to document my Hair and Weight loss Journeys but I made them private I am not sure if I want to share the information I will post on those blogs. 

I hope i can stay committed because this is something I really want for myself... 

Sad side of Long Distance Relationships... Saying Goodbye.

Sitting here listening to the clock, I think about the time we have left together just ticking away. I feel pathetic because this is not goodbye it is simply so long see you in December. I feel pathetic because while others shed tears for a long lost love, lovers and partners they will never see again,  I am shedding them for someone I will see again in a few months.

Let me be selffish for this one moment and think only of my sadness no matter how pathetic it may seem. Cause the time we are apart my heart dies and is lonely and awaits the time we will be together again. I am going to dry my tears and put on a smile and think about the happy times we have when we are together. 

Love sucks sometimes,,, But I am in this forever there is no turning back because you are the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. 

Wedding Day Woes Maybe?

Sir and I got officially engaged a few months ago...I dont know if I should say officially because we didn't have a ring, (we took our ring money and went to Andros for four days...lol) Anyways, we know that we want to get married some time next year, however, as far as planning the wedding and our big day goes we discussed that we just want to do something quick and easy that involves us spending as little money as possible. Originally, we thought to go to city hall and sign some papers then go on a 2 week road trip around Europe (well nearby countries) and just enjoy a fantastic and adventurous honeymoon. Now our wedding plans are dependent on where we are going to live. (The Bahamas or The Netherlands)

For some reason the idea of a hassle free, wedding is pleasing to me. I don't need the spotlight to be on me, I want it to be our day a day we will remember and something that is private and only for us both. Ironically my values and ideas of a wedding and wedding day have changed drastically since I met Sir. When I imagined myself getting married I pictured my future husband and I surrounded by 20 of our closest family members followed by a blowout party that included everyone who didn't have the privilege of being invited to the wedding. But now when I picture my wedding day I only see Sir and Me standing before each other making the promise of always being together and sticking with each other from now and forever regardless of the struggles we may face as time passes on. Then us going off to enjoy the start of our marriage lives. I must say that I am really curious how our wedding day will pan out. Either way I am sure we will be laughing a whole lot cause we always have a great time together regardless...lol This dude...lol 

Almost time to say goodbye...

The last 3months have truly been amazing. Every moment that I get to spend with Sir is like being in a Never Never Land where time just seems to stop, and I am in a place where nothing but great things happens and all that surrounds me is love and happiness. I can never say enough, just how happy I am  to have this man in my life and just how much he means to me. Sometimes, I feel like I am going to wake up and this is all going to be just a dream. Sometimes, when I am with him I want to pinch myself just to make sure that this is real.

However, reality finally sets in and time catches up with us and it is time to once again say so long see you again in a few months. And my eyes fill with tears and I feel like my heart is being riped from my body and I wonder why am I always so sad when I have to leave him? Why haven't I adjusted to the distance after 4.5 years of being in this long distance relationship? I think the answer to that question is, every time we are together it is a unique experience. We learn more about each other and we fall in love with each other for the hundredth time and while some people believe that another person cannot complete them Sir completes me and I love him with all my heart...  He completes me. He is the ying to my yang...

Kiddie Underwear: When is it too old to wear them?

Over the weekend Sir and I went shopping and I bought A LOT of underwear. I seriously think I have enough new underwear to wear one every day for the next two months... (give or take a few days...lol) One thng I noticed while I was sorting my new purchases was that all my underwear is either brightly coloured or it had some sort of cartoon character on it. I have underwear with Mickey Mouse on it, I have underwear with Snoopy I have some with hearts and buttons they are reminiscent of underwear I wore when I was 3...

Which made me wonder, am I too old to be wearing those types of underwear? And should I upgrade my underwear choice to something that's a bit more age appropriate or even sexier???? Ummm I have no idea though the jury is still out on this one. What can I say? Maybe, I like having snoopy kissing my a$$...lol 

Random Quote...

I found this quote and I thought I would share it...

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.


-Rick Warren

I am starting to miss straight hair :(

My last relaxer was in November 2007 when I did that relaxer I had no intention on it being my last. I had already tried going natural three times before and each time I failed epically. The cause of my "failure" to stay natural if I could call it that had more to do with the fact that I was bored with having natural hair than it had to do with me missing relaxers. Recently. I noticed that the longest I have even been natural was two years. It seems whenever the third year was approaching I get a strong desire to relax my hair. Everyday I think about what it will be like to have straight hair again... You may probably be thinking why I am don't get straight it with a flat iron or pressing comb? I agree it's definitely a temporary fix to get straight hair, however, the time it takes to straighten my hair is soooooooooo annoying I am only complete a portion of my hair before I give up. Likewise, I am too cheap to pay someone else to straighten it for me... What am I going to do? We shall see i guess...

This picture was taken three days after I got Sir to flat iron my hair, He also had to cut off two inches of split ends.... This was sometimes in June that I straightened my hear... 

Front View

Back View... (see my cousins and rough ends?) 

This Picture is with my hair curly the day the Mirror Lied to me,,,

When I looked in the mirror i saw BIG HAIR! The camera showed me a shrunken mat...lol I couldn't smile on the picture cause this was like the fifth one I took and i already knew this wasn't what i was expecting... 

5 Things that I am "afraid" of...

It's been a while since I made a post. The only problem with that is I have no idea what to post about... So I thought I would just make a post about what I am afraid of...

1.  I am afraid of the idea of flying... Some of you may be confused at this point... I bet you are thinking that I mean that I am afraid of planes or flying itself ( I am not insane I know i can't make myself fly...lol) but you would be wrong. I am not afraid of being on a plane but rather, it's the idea of getting on a plane that terrifies the bejesus out of me. I have no idea why that is but whenever I am waiting to board the plane I have to give myself a peep talk and I have the tell myself that running away and crying like a little girl won't change anything the ticket is bought I have to go! I know you are probably thinking now if I am like that while sitting at the gate what must I be like on the plane? Well once I am on the plane all the fears go away and I am completely excited about the journey ahead... Strange but this is true.

2.  I am afraid of mouthwash. Well it's more that I am afraid of the idea of swallowing mouthwash. I do not ever gargle mouthwash because I have convinced myself that I am going to swallow it. Which will result in me  burning my stomach out and eventually having internal bleeding because I forgot it wasn't something that I could swallow.

3. I am afraid of ledges. I know I am not alone on this one. I am not standing close to the edge of anything screw that. I don't do this either cause I have convinced myself that if I stand over the edge of something someones unsupervised child is going to bump into me or this massive wind is going to blow out of nowhere and I am going to fall to my death... (Yea I am at fear number three and I am starting to notice a trend I think I am just paranoid.)

4.  I am afraid of driving... No explanation if you live in Nassau Bahamas you probably are afraid of driving too...lol 

5. I am afraid of being in a house by myself. I am seriously paranoid. Right now I am sitting in a house by myself and I have been giving myself peep talks the whole time I was writing this post. I am constantly reminding myself that there isn't some ghost sitting next to me right now, the breeze I feel on my neck is just  coming from the open window not from someone I can't see breathing on my neck. And the sounds I hear of someone walking is only in my mind. And there is no need to walk fast (when i go from the bathroom back to the room) cause nothing is chasing me. And locking the door does keep the ghosts out...lol Yea i know right???? Someone call get this girl on some meds. 

Teenagers are really funny...lol

My 13 year old cousin is a fan of a group on facebook called " I like being single because it beats being in the wrong relationship"...lol Someone please catch me, I am about to faint...lol It is funny that youngsters really believe they have an understanding of how the world works... I remember those days of being naive in thinking that I understood how the world worked. 

Current Mood: Happily reminiscing about the days when i was young and naive. 

Finish The sentence…

After I did mine, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to respond to it too. I think you will notice that he is just as obsessed with me as I am with him... The only thing I can say is "this dude"... (inside joke...lol)

•I love... Everything about my girlfriend
•Right now I want... to be home with my girlfriend (Home being in a house of our own)
•I feel like... Some things just take too long, while others don't last long enough
•I hate it when... I do my best, am proud of myself, and others kicking my pride right back down
•I fear... I would end up being too busy with daily routines to not have time for what I want
•I'm lonely without... my girlfriend

•I need... to set a goal in life – job wise – so I have something to work towards

•Today I... have spent most of my time at work… chatting with my girlfriend

•Tomorrow I'm... going to do the exact same thing. Added to that I'm visiting my grandmother in the evening

•I just... want to make sure that my girlfriend is happy and I want to be close to her

•I want to meet... no-one else. I rather keep my life simple when it comes to acquaintances
•I'm hungry for... my girlfriend's cooking :D yum!
•I love it when... my girlfriend lays her head on my chest at night

•I'm afraid of... losing my girlfriend due to old age or accident
•I'm listening to... my colleagues making phonecalls
•I'm wearing... an orange tshirt, jeans, black socks, white shoes

•I want to get... a huge 3D LED HD TV with a high quality sound system and comfortable chairs

•I cant... seem to spend as much time as I want with my girlfriend

•I'm nervous to... upset/annoy my girlfriend again

•I feel happiest when... it's just me and my girlfriend spending time together and laughing

Finish The Sentence…

 

•I love... My Sir, My Family and My close and loyal friends
•Right now I want... find a career and direction for my life.
•I feel like... I am just drifting idly through life
•I hate it when... people chew with their mouths open… Damn that is annoying
•I fear... I won't find true fulfillment
•I'm lonely without... I can't say that I ever truly feel lonely

•I need... to get my life in order, take better care of myself, learn how and plan and follow through but most importantly I need to learn dutch!

•Today I... took a shower, ate lunch, went online and pretty much laid in bed… (exciting right?)

•Tomorrow I'm... probably do the same things I did today only in a different order

•I just... want to marry the man of my dreams (Sir) and be happy.

•I want to meet... There isn't anyone special that I want to meet.
•I'm hungry for... Egg Rolls (I used to hate these things now I crave them…lol)
•I love it when... Sir and I lay in bed together and watch a comedy movie

•I'm afraid of... nothing at the moment
•I'm listening to... one dutch program but I am about to change the station.
•I'm wearing... orange tee and gray jeans (Holland is playing in the World Cup today the Orange is in support of the team)

•I want to get... an HTC phone…lol

•I cant... imagine my life without Sir…

•I'm nervous to... age…

•I feel happiest when... I am with Sir. He really makes me feel special. He loves me for who I am…

 

 

Remembering M.J

It is quite astonishing how quickly time passes! I can hardly believe that it has been a year since Michael Jackson passed away. He will certainly be missed and it will probably be a long time before another artist impacts the lives of others the way Michael did. Anyone who truly listened to his lyrics can feel what an humanitarian he was and how much he loved people.  His music makes me reflect on my life and the changed i want to make. There is no better way to say it but if you want to bring about change you have to start with the "Man in the Mirror!" Anyways...In honour of his death i though i would post my top 10 favourite MJ songs. So here we go... 

11. Beat it
10. Leave Me Alone
  9. Remember The Time
  8. The Way You Make Me Feel
  7. Heal The World
  6. We Are The World
  5. Thriller
  4. Man In The Mirror
  3. Earth Song
  2. This Is It
  1. Will You Be There

Ok I couldn't list only 10 so i made it 11...lol Sue Me!

 Looking beyond the controversy this is how I remember him... Michael definitely was the King of Pop... Truly Talented

(August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

It's sad how the world preys on the weak... No matter what we have to stay strong and be our personal best.

Does the Mirror Deceive me?

I took a shower this morning wore a shower cap and everything so i wouldn't get my hair wet and once i was out the shower i got dressed and styled my hair. I tried a new product in my hair it was a sample pack that i got from a store and when i first applied it i loved how it made my dry brittle hair feel soft an manageable. Then i looked in the mirror and i though wow am i finally having a good hair day? I absolutely loved how my hair looked in the mirror, I liked it so much so that i decided to take a picture.

However, for some reason my hair on camera did not look as good as it looked in the mirror. Which made me wonder, are my eyes deceiving me? When i look in the mirror do i actually see what i look like or what i want to look like? I'm just going to ponder about this for a minute or two... (if i feel like it i will post the picture...)

Untitled

Every morning he wakes up, kisses me on the lips and tell me how much he loves me and how happy he is to have me in his life. Every day (several times a day) he asks me if he told me yet how much he loves me? My response to that question is always" yes, too much" and his reply to my answer is always "no, never enough".

I didn't take that paragraph from a romance book and no it wasn't from a scene in the romantic movie or series, its an actual event that happens in my relationship. God has blessed me with a very loving and romantic man who doesn't hide how he feels about me. I am as happy to have him in my life as he is to have me in his. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that we have a perfect relationship or we are free of disagreements, i am simply saying that we are really blessed to have each other. Although, we may have down moments there isn't anything I would change about him, I wouldn't change his stubbornness, (which annoys me a lot sometimes but it is also one of the things that kept us together when I wanted to give up) neither would i change the way he nags me to make posts on my blog. ( he is my number one fan)

There are a number of things that I love about the man in my life (whom i often refer to as Sir,,,) I love how we can have fun and laugh in every situations. I love how happy I am when we take "stukje lopen" (short walks) I love the way he loves me, I love how thoughtful he is, I love how caring he is and I love how selfless he is but most of all I love how spontaneous he is as well.

Last week he surprised me with 10 very beautiful red long stemmed roses. It was such a surprise, I didn't expect it at all, it had only been the second time in the 4.5 years we were together that he bought me flowers (the story about how i got the other flowers is an hilarious one i have to remember to blog about it some time.) But it was such the sweetest gesture, he bought me flowers just because he was thinking about me and wanted to do something special for me. It really brings happy tears to my eyes to think that I was able to find  someone to spend my life with who cherishes me as much as he does. Now i am understanding why so many people search for love because once it touches your life you are never the same again.

Movie Review: Alice in Wonderland

Photo Credit 

Last Sunday Sir and I went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I was extremely excited to see the movie because I am a fan of Tim Burton Movies, (Corpse Bride, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) and I respect Johnny Depp as an actor. No one could have stopped me from seeing that movie, I had even planned to get it on DVD and i mean the real DVD not the bootlegged shat thats sold on the streets. I was going to buy the original! (i don't usually buy DVDs i wait for it to play on network tv...lol). I just knew the movie would be something that i could watch over and over. Sir and I got popcorn, chips and Ben and Jerry's ice cream all ready to relax and fully indulge while we watch an enjoyable movie. Like, seriously,  my mother couldn't have told me that i wasn't going to like that movie and it was going to be in 3D? Was they serious?

However, to my disappointment that was not the case. To say the least the movie didn't live up to any of my expectations, it was a complete bust and probably the worse movie i saw all year. The plot was extremely boring and lacking and the movie just wasn't fun. If i hadn't paid to see the movie i wouldn't have watched it to the end. I probably would have left after the first 10mins of the movie. I wouldn't have seen Alice fall into that rabbit hole again and i certainly wouldn't have seen her slay that damn dragon,( no mam sorry, life is too short to waste watching a boring movie)... I still had a great day with Sir of course but the movie sucks and i wouldn't recommend it to anyone not even my enemies. (I am not going to be responsible for the death of others (death by boredom that is))

Postives:

Great cast, Everyone in the movie really had the right attitude for the part they were playing.
The movie eventually ends (Yea seriously i felt like the movie was 10hrs long it was so boring)

Cons;

The 3D effects sucked, there was a little depth in the movie and the colours were bright and pretty but i felt like i was in the movies with shades on, there were a lot of opportunities where the 3D effects could have enhanced the movie but it wasnt there.

As i said before the plot was boring... The movie is a good for putting you to sleep.

Taking Better Care of Me for ME ( Re: Ready to Diet!?!)

I decided to write this blog post after reading one that my cousin wrote on her blog (check it out its pretty interesting just click here :D). In a nutshell her blog post is a rant on the her views on dieting and the measures she have taken to live up to standards others have placed on her (its pretty much implied of course so these are more my words than her own.) She puts things in a way that although its quite serious there is still something comical about her words. In addition, the way she expresses herself makes you reflect on the limits you have taken to live up to others expectations. I can related on everything she said especially the part about family,

I am aware that our family can be really outspoken and cruel with words sometimes. For some reason they think it helps to point out someone flaws and are oblivious, to the damage it does on the self esteem. I think it is apart of the Bahamian culture to point out someone's weight gain, but how did that become a social topic anyways? What happened to not asking about a woman's age or weight? But thats another topic for another day.  As far as dieting is concerned and my view of my own "struggles" my "journey" if I can call it that begins like this...

Weight became an issue for me after i turned 22/23, before that even though i did the whole roller coaster ride of gaining weight in the summer and losing it during the rest of the year especially winter, (backwards i know but thats how i was) i always stayed within the healthy range typical of my height and age. At around 21 (maybe even earlier) I developed hyperthyroidism, one of the symptoms associated with that disorder is constant hunger, I was eating way more than i normally did and even though i gained weight it was nothing compared to how much i was eating. that is to say for the amount of food i was eating in a day I should have gained triple what i gained. Anyways i mentioned my hyperthryoidism in my struggles with weight for two reasons. 1) My overeating became a habit as a result of my constant hunger, and 2) Once received treatment  I developed hypothyroidism and because that went untreated for a while I gained 30lbs in 2months! While hyperthyroidism speeds up your metabolism, hypothyroidism slows it down considerable, aside from that it takes away your energy and make your feel heavy and the mental energy it takes to motivate your body to do something when your feeling tired is really just are tiring.  

So anyways getting even more on point..lol The weight i have gained of course has been criticized by EVERYONE who knew me when i was slimmer, I really wish i had a dollar for everyone who looks at me with mouth dropped and who had the audacity to utter to me " HOW DID YOU GET SO BIG?" or " WOW? WHAT HAPPENED YOU USED TO BE SO SLIM" my favourite is "STOP EATING SO MUCH WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN I WANT YOU BACK TO YOUR OLD SIZE"... yea thats gonna happen...

Although I find it quite funny now, at first it really bothered me and my self esteemed suffered too much to want to talk about in a blog.  But one day i realised that if i let what they say to me affect how i feel about myself i would probably end up committing suicide. I do want to lose the extra weight i have gained, i even know how to do it cause i have had success with weight loss even after my diagnosis i just haven't; stuck to it long enough to reap the rewards of my heard work. I think before i can do another diet i have to change the word diet to lifestyle change and take the necessary steps to lose the weight in a gradual healthy way that incorporates exercise and a balanced diet. I think it time that the meaning of diet gains back its true meaning, a diet doesn't mean to limit carbs or limit yourself to eating only bird seeds, a diet is simple what you eat... 

Current Mood: Bored but Happy...

I should be studying dutch right now but i dont feel like it. Waiting for sir to get home from work. Sometimes i feel like my life revolves around him... Anyways...

South Andros

I don't remember the specific dates anymore, (i am pretty sure it was in May) my boyfriend and I went to South Andros (along with my sister and her friend but they aren't important right now this post is about sir and I). We stayed at the Emerald Palms and we had LOTS OF FUN :D I was always afraid of the island life, (more specifically i was afraid of the bugs and extreme boredom) nevertheless, sir and I got it into our heads that we wanted to go to a family island. We had two criteria for choosing the island we would visit 1) it had to be close to Nassau, (i and not ready to venture far from Nassau, kind of ironic since I am currently in Holland) and 2) we wanted to go somewhere fairly quiet.

Our first choice was the Berry Islands (they were having a festival around the time we wanted to go) however we couldn't find anywhere nice there to stay so we decided we would go to Mangrove Cay. Mangrove Cay turned out to be a no go because the bed and breakfast we wanted to stay at was full so we were on the search again. It was frustrating trying to find an island to visit, I almost took it as a sign that we shouldn't go. But third time was a charm and finally we found a nice hotel that had room for us :D yay Emerald Palms!

Emerald Palms was a really nice hotel and the staff is extremely friendly. The rooms are beautiful and there are a lot of native trees on the property, we were lucky enough to get some coco plums. I would certainly recommend this hotel. (Be warned that the food at the hotel is really expensive though... Especially for a limited menu.) Another plus of staying at Emerald Palms was we were able to get free plane tickets because we bought our tickets through the two fly free promotions that was (probably still is) going on.

I must say that I had a GREAT time with sir and our two other companions, we made lots of happy memories and we had such a great time. We went swimming, bike riding and fishing. Unfortunately, sir and I suck at taking pictures so we don't have much pictures to show for the nice time we had... Nevertheless i have a few pictures that i can share.

Final thoughts, would i go back to South Andros? Of course! In a heart beat, i hated the bugs but I felt so free being away from the congestion in Nassau, its any wonder how anyone moves from the family islands to Nassau. We are actually thinking about doing another island sometimes in the future, our next choice is Rum Cay... We saw some pictures of the island and we were sold. Who would have though right? No one who knows me is going to believe that I fell in love with the family island life.

(I will add pictures later...lol)

some highlights from our vacation, we aren't good at taking pictures... thats something we have to work on...

UPDATES:D

So a lot has been going on lately, and i have many things that i want to blog about, and even though i have had a lot of free time to do so i have been lazy so i didn't do it. (Dang thats one long sentence...lol you can breathe again) Any who i am going to take a large chunk of my day to post and sorta catch up on the things i wanted to blog about. I also have a number of posts i started a while back that are still in draft mood because i wasnt sure if to post it or not... ( I still haven't decided)... Anyways on the the regular posting. (This Update is totally random and not really an update at all it is more like a random rambling post. ANYWAYS. WHATEVER ON TO THE NEXT..lol

Fun Weekend :D

I had so much fun over the weekend. Sir and I went to the theatre and we saw Prince of Persia on Saturday and Alice in Wonderland on Sunday. Saturday was a great day! We did a little bit of shopping before we went to the see the movies, (took our bags back to the car of course). Oh how I love shopping! 

Even though I was convinced that I would walk out of the theatre feeling as if I wasted an hour of my life I am pleased to say i was wrong. Prince of Persia is a great movie and I would recommend for everyone to see it.  After we left the theatre, sir and I took a quiet stroll through the empty streets (the streets were actually pretty quiet, its not like i was so mesmerized or consumed with love that it felt like we were the only two persons left on earth.)  to the Chinese restaurant and we ate the best Chinese food i have ever eaten. I cannot remember what we talked about but i remember how warm i felt inside and how happy i was to be in his presences, I felt good that he was in my life and the day was perfect. 

As I mentioned before on Sunday we went to see Alice in Wonderland, with all the hype surrounding the movie, I really thought it was going to be another fun filled Disney film. However, I was wrong! That was the worse movie I have seen in recent times, it was boring, and at times, I even believe that I fell asleep. Nevertheless, even though the movie was boring, Ronald and I didn’t let the fact that the movie sucked ruin our day together, The weather was gloomy on Sunday, completely different from the sunny day we had the day before, and instead of taking a romantic stroll to a restaurant we drove to the nearest McDonalds. While we were in McDonalds, we talked again about everything and nothing and like always, it felt so right to be together…

Neighbour Voodoo Chronicles...

She is at it again... My crazy azz neighbour is raking the yard with salt again!!!! Not only is she raking the yard again she is singing her spirituals. How can you believe in God and Voodoo at the same time? Don't get me wrong I know that the bible warns us of the presence of witchcraft, however i believe that the only thing you need to keep you safe is faith and belief that God protects his own... She needs prayers...

Current Mood: Anxious and Excited

Yay One more day and he will be here finally :D Damn it feels like I have been waiting all year to be with him again. I love you so much hun!  We are going to have a great summer... I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life because i feel truly loved.

Photo Credit

My Guilty Pleasure is...

I love washing my hair :D for all yall who thought i mean something naughty shame on yall. Anyways, i really do love washing my hair, there is nothing more relaxing than a clean scalp. When i wash my hair i get to say goodbye to the product build up, goodbye to the itchy scalp and hello to clean fresh hair...  When i first cut my hair I used to wash it everyday but now that its longer i found its best to only wash once a week, (anything more and i will probably go more bald..lol) I have been looking into using more natural shampoos and conditioners. I haven't found a shampoo recipe that i am interested in trying yet however as a prepoo i have started using olive oil or olive oil combined with honey. I have found that using olive oil by itself makes my hair really soft when i wash it, the honey + olive oil combo ways may hair down a bit and makes it thicker. I am not sure if i like the honey in my hair yet but i secretly hoping that the honey will lighten my hair colour so I am going continue using it for now.

Freshly washed Hair (it looks a bit white i dont think i got all the conditioner out)

My Hair from a different angle. Looks like matted wool...lol

Detangled  and twisted so it doesnt dry fuzzy

Believe it or not this was after i washed my hair i have no idea why its so whitey... Oh well until the next time i wash it again....

Another Relationship Post..lol

How much should your family's opinion of your partner matter?

This is a question that I am very confused about. Because I think everyone wanta their friend and family to accept the person they are dating, however how much should their opinion matter? Should you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend if your family does not like him/her?

My opinion on this matter has changed drastically especially since i met my boyfriend. When we first met I told him that i could not be in a relationship with him if his family(parents) did not like me. I had several reasons for this. The first we are an interracial couple and secondly, we were embarking on a long distance relationship, those two characteristic presented several challenges for us and i felt like why should we make it worse for ourselves by being in a relationship where the family doesn't approve? 

Nevertheless, now that I have known my boyfriend for a while my views on this have changed. I think that the only opinions that matters when it comes to our relationship is our own. For this reason whenever we have issues we talk about them only with each other and we leave everyone else out of the equation. Relationships are stronger when couples are open with each other and they communicate their problems with each other. Including other persons opinions into the equation only complicates matters, they will only give you advice that is unjustified.  (now back to my topic) As long the family does not disrespect me and as long as i dont disrespect his family i dont think it matters whether they like me or not. (Luckily neither or us have that problem with our families.) I think that its wrong when parents force their opinions on their children. I think everyone should be allowed to make their own decisions especially when the children are happy with their relationship. I understand how sometimes persons buckle under the pressure placed on them by their family which leads them to break up with their partner though to an extent. Likewise, I believe that if you truly love someone and you want to spend your life with that person they should be number 1 in your life. But thats just my opinion...

Relationships are Unpredictable...

It seems like the things i am inspired to write about are always relationship related. I was on Facebook today and i found out that someone on my friends list broke up with her fiancé. Her status change from engaged to single was met with instant responses of "are you serious" and "this cannot be true". Almost everyone who saw her relationship status was in otter disbelief. They seemed like such a happy couple and they were always together. It all seemed so sudden because just today she commented on how excited she was about the wedding she was planning for this august. Her situation made me think about just how unpredictable relationships are and how sometimes we could be in disillusion about how happy our partner is or what he/she is thinking. The final  thought that came to my mind was, could this happen to me? Although i would like to think that my boyfriend is happy with the way our relationship is going who is to say that this time next year the same thing couldn't happen to me?

Writing this blog post made me think about the thought that popped into my head this morning when i woke up this morning which was "Finding true love is worth the risk of heartache" Roughly what this phrase means to me is that sometimes we will fall in love and we may get our hearts broken but we should not let that defer us from finding that person who is truly sent for us. You just give heart the time it needs to mend and try again... I hope that she find the strength to move on and try again, he wasn't the right one for her but i am sure she will find someone else better. 

Me and Cooking...

 So anyone who knows me  probably knows i am not a cook. When i was growing up i would always avoid cooking and all things related to the kitchen. I have used excuses such as i am allergy to the kitchen and its against my religion to cook in order to justify my hatred for all things cooking related. However, now that I am older my opinions of cooking have changed and now i am more inspired to cook. Today i am making pizza YAAAAAAAAAAAY :D I am so excited, i have made other meals that required more skill but i don't have pictures. From now on i am going to take pictures of everything i prepare and blog about how well it turned out. Once i am done i will update this post and show you a picture of my pizza. :D

As promised this is a picture of my pizza. I have better pictures on my cell phone but i couldnt transfer it to my phone so i had to take other pictures on my camera of what was left of my pizza.

My thoughts on the pizza,

For my first time making it i think it came out pretty good. I would add salt to the tomato sauce next time though cause i didnt add any when i made this pizza and i think that was what was missing. I am also going to add a bit more pepper to my pizza cause i like things spicy...lol 

Let That person go...

He doesn't want you anymore, he is dating someone else, why are you wasting your time chasing a man who has clearly moved on? She doesn't want you anymore, she has moved on, she is happy with the new man in her life why can't you just do the same? Truth is no amount of begging, pleading and apologies can make that person want to take you back because while you are wasting your time pining away at the love you may have once had your ex is spending quality time with another and making new memories of their own. Why do you humiliate yourself in public, stalking and monitoring what the other is doing? That time could be better spent on the quest to find your new love. It is not worth your time chasing someone who doesn't want you, move on pickup whatever dignity you have and find someone who will appreciate you. Everyone wants to be loved, but love feels best with its mutual. Life is too short to devote it to someone who doesn't think you are worth his/her time. Do yourself a favour and let that person go. 

Bucket List :D

So i got this idea from www.glamazini.com (kinda) I was going to add a checklist of the things i wanted to do anyways but now thanks to her i get to call it a Bucket List...lol

Here we go :D

• Go on a cruise
• Get Married
• Write a Book ( I should probably take writing classes first though)
• Go camping
• Learn to swim (maybe i am on the fence with this one)
• Speak Fluent Dutch
• Visit Switzerland
• Visit Saint Lucia
• Find a Career ( I still have no idea what my ideal job is and it sucks I am 26!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• Retire ( I haven't gotten a career yet but i am looking forward to retirement...lol gek he?)

Looks like i am going to have to think about this list some more then add to it. The funny thing is since i met my boyfriend i have done a lot of the things i always wanted to do

Things i have done:

• Visited Mexico (My mother never lets me forget that she paid for this trip)
• Visited Cuba
• Visit Europe ( I have been to France, The Netherlands and Belgium)
• Been on a Train
• Seen Mountains
• Been to Disneyland
• Did a Road trip
• Speak Fluentish Spanish
• Been on a roller coaster (4/5 times and i am still alive) 

Current Mood: Happily Floating along on cloud 9 :D

If you are one of those persons who don't believe in living in Wonderland with Peter Pan i feel sorry for you cause it can be fun sometimes to step out of the normal day to day thinking and just pretend to be without a care in the world. (wow that was just on long sentence. I hate using punctuations in case you didnt notice) I am looking forward to a great summer one full with adventure.

Photo credit This picture belongs to ~VermilionX (No copy right infringment was intended)

My thoughts on Love

I am certainly not an expert on the subject. I was in a relationship for two years before i realised just how strong my love was for my boyfriend. It took us breaking up for me to even consider that i may be in love with him.. I remember judging women who seemed to be on the constant search to find love. Likewise I thought of those women as being pathetic. To me they were nothing more than insecure fools (strong word i know) who needed a man to define them. Nevertheless, that was before I found love myself. Now that i know what it feels like to be in love i have realised that falling in love is a part of being human. We are social beings and its our destiny to find our soul mate. (i think im gonna write on soul mates next) As a result, what i learned is that those women(and men) who put their hearts out there are actually really strong, what i saw as pathetic was actually strength because it takes a lot to give your heart to someone else. 

The Negatives of Being in A Long Distance Relationship

Have you ever wondered what it is like to be in a long distance relationship? Are you someone who believes that they cannot work? Do you think that the one or both persons eventually end up cheating on their partner?Speaking from personal experience, I can certify that long distance relationships can work and that both persons involve can remain faithful to each other even though with hundreds of miles between them. Nevertheless, I would say if you can avoid it its best to not get involved in a long distance relationship. What I mean by this is do not intentionally search for partners who do not live in the same country and town as you do. I can imagine you are wondering why I would say such a thing if my experience with it has been positive?

As many of us already know, long distance relationships are extremely hard and they can make you feel extremely lonely. Especially, when you are surrounded by others. What do I mean by that? Well, I notice that the times I miss my boyfriend most are the times when I have an event to attend or I am going to places that we went to together. Such as the beach, the movies or even shopping. Whenever I am at one of those places, I remember how much fun we had together and what it was like to be there with him and my solo experience is no where as fun without him. What is worse, is that I know that he won't be there when I go home and I can't just call him up and ask something like "hey you want to go watch a movie with me today?" The only times that is possible is when we are in the same country.

Which brings me to the next negative about being in a long distance relationship which is the time and costs that goes into commuting. If your lucky and your in a long distance relationship and your partner is only a few hours drive away then you may not fell the pinch as much as my boyfriend and i do. If i had to put a dollar value on the amount of money we have spend on plane tickets alone in the last four years it would probably be between 25k and 30k. That is unbelievable!  Do you know how much other things we could have used that money for if we lived in the same country? I am not even going to think about it because i would probably get a head it. (I am not saying that it wasn't worth it cause spending time with him is priceless I am just saying thats a whole lot of money)

I guess my point is even though I am in a long distance relationship and i am happy with my boyfriend sometimes it gets really hard to not be able to see him face to face everyday. It is not for persons who have trust issues and certainly not for persons who are clingy and always need someone around them. Long distance relationships work when you understand that in order to stay together you have to be faithful, honest and be willing to take the time and spend the money it takes to get you together as much as possible so you can keep the relationship alive. 

"Celebrities" and reality shows

Is it just me or are reality shows just a way for has been celebrities to make some change (money) and pretend to have the glory they may have had in the past? Don't get me wrong, I love reality shows and I would go as far as to call myself a reality show junkie. Because truth is if it is on television I am going to watch it. What annoys me about these shows is the lack of reality and the insincerity that exists amongst these so called celebrities.Don't worry I will try not to be vague and give you some examples. 

For the love of RJ 1 and 2. That show was the most boring celebrity love show that I have watched, and i am comparing it to Flavor of Love and Rock of Love. Ray J in all his arrogance, encourages the girls to be 1 hunded (my attempt to spell it the say he says it) and be open with him with their feelings, when even a blind person can see he is a playboy (mamas boy is probably a better fit) who is only about the money. Its like if its going to be just a way of making money for him then he should just go with the flow, be humble and have fun with it.  Rather than,  make the women involved delusional about his true intentions. (BTW I hated this show lets hope their wont be another episode)

Another celebrity reality show that annoys me even though I love the show is celebrity fit club. It is like the more seasons the more slimmer the D list celebrities become. I am not saying that slim people do not need a lifestyle change, what I am saying is that the celebrities that go on that show are rude they do not commit to the program, and it seems like they stick to the shortcut methods of losing weight that they did before they were enrolled in the program. That isn't the purpose of the show.

I have told you about two celebrity shows that annoy me, now I will briefly write about the celebrity shows that i like watching the most, which are Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. I believe (I could be wrong cause I don't know him personally) that Dr. Dru main focus is to help celebrities (and non celebrities) get off drugs. I think the show does a good job are showing the negative effects that excessive drug and alcohol use can have on the mind and body... It also shows just how easy it is to become addicted to drugs and how hard it is to get clean.

Celebrity reality shows will be around for a while and I will watch them until I get bored of them or I get over my addiction to television (whichever comes first) 

Am i obsessed with him?

I thought about my posts and what i noticed is that in some way they were all inspired by my boyfriend, which lead me to wonder, am i obsessed with him? my guess is yes but to be sure i did this test online (its for entertainment purposes of course)... to determine if my suspicions are correct. Here are my results: "Your obsession might be mistaken for a DISEASE! You are seriously obsessed and want to marry this dude! Don't worry...time can cure your disease but until then you can be as obsessed as you want. After all, obsessions are entertaining. You probably already share your obsession with your friends and family. That's a good way to let your feelings out but don't annoy them too much...or the disease may become fatal...just kidding! But if you have been known to say his name over and over again in your sleep, it's time to partly drain your brain of this guy - don't let him take over your life"

If you want to take the quiz yourself click here: