Neighbour Chronicles My neighbour is crazy

Its been a while since I have posted... I have totally neglected this blog. Sorry! Anyways my neighbour is so freaking crazy. Its like 8.30pm really dark outside and she is outside washing her car for like 2 hours now. 2 HOURS! Who the hell takes that long to wash a car? It's not even a SUV or anything its a mid size honda. It doesn't even sound like she is close to finishing because I hear water splashing. This lady really irks the bejesus out of me. If I had a bebe gun... I am not going to finish it just incase. (use inference)...lol Crazy Crazy lady. I wouldn't have mind so much if she was quiet but she singing a toneless song. Crazy Crazy Lady!

Taking a New Direction: Kind of...lol

This blog was pretty much dedicated to me posting about random things that come to my mind. Now I think I am going to use it to keep me stay focus and finally complete things I started but never finished. I have a habit of starting things and leaving it left undone. A lot of the things I have to finish are pretty long term. But I have to start somewhere don't I? I will post more about this tomorrow. I am off to make a list of things I need to finish!

What's Up Peeps

I feel like I have neglected this blog. I don't know why I haven't done a post lately. Well I do know I have just been too lazy to do it. My life has been a bit uneventful (sorta kinda) Next week Sir will be here. I think we are long over due when it comes to being together. I had some ideas for posts but now that I am trying to write nothing comes to my mind. well nothing that I want to share at this time. Tomorrow is another day maybe I will make another post then...lol

Day 4 of 30 Days of Truth

Today's post is on something I have to forgive someone for. I am pretty much a laid back person I get angry quick but I also forgive quickly too. With that said I will say that I probably only have 3 persons that I don't like (former friends) and if I had to forgive someone for something, I would have to forgive them for being bad friends.

CRAPPY MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two days with a limited of sleep is taking a toll on me. I am in such a horrible MOOD! I just want to scream and on top of that my eyes are burning (I need to get my glasses repaired)! Trying to stay positive but it is not always easy. I remember when I used to be able to function on limited sleep. Seems like those days are gone and now I turn into a grouch is i can't sleep for 8hours a night. 

Current Mood: Grumpy and Moody (don't stare at me too hard because I just might cuss you out today..lol No not really (just maybe)

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for...

In all honesty, the first thing that came to my mind is not something I want to share over the internet. Nevertheless, the answer I am going with is lying to my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship is something that I have to forgive myself for. I think I am not over it because I think about how much issues we had and we really could have avoided some of the hardships we had if I had just been honest with him from the beginning. I don't know why I haven't let that go yet, especially since it has been almost five years now. But thats my answer. 

Day 2; Something That I love about Myself

I honestly cannot think about something that I love about myself. I like a lot of things about myself but I guess I would have to say that I don't prejudge people. I always give people a chance to prove themselves before I make assumptions. I try to be opinion minded, and I am really generous sometimes too generous. I love my sense of humour and I love my overall personality. (Did I really say I couldn't thing of something in the beginning? My bad I thought of something..lol)

Day 1 Something I hate about myself.

This was easy for me to think about something I hate about myself. Sure hate is a strong word and in a perfect world I would love everything about myself but truth is I am sure everyone can find something they hate about themselves. The thing I hate most about myself isn't a superficial or  physical thing, what I hate about myself if my inability to complete things. I have started so many things that I have never finished it is ridiculous. When I was younger I didn't see it as a problem because I always told myself it is not a big deal I have time to finish it. But as I get older I am realising that starting things and not finishing it is a waste of my time. The problem is I have no idea how to move forward and correct this bad habit that I have. It is easy to say that if I start something I should work on it until I am finished but I get bored so easily that its hard for me to finish things I start sometimes.  I will give you a prime example, I actually started this post over a week ago. I would say 10 days ago and I am just posting it. Yea it is that serious and I am this bad at it...lol

30 days of Truth

Long story short, I found this on someones blog and decided I would do it too... I thought why not participate? It will give me something to blog about in between trying to think about things to blog about.  


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Life Don't Give Do Overs (CoKe Soda Ramblings)

I am sure everyone at some point in their life wishes they could go back and change some of the things they did in the past. Or maybe take up and opportunity that they let pass by. I know I have a lot of things that I would love to do over/change in my life. Unfortunately, it is not possible.  The fact of the matter is, all we are destined for is to continue life one day at a time until the time we have has expired and we most leave this place that only gives us one chance to get things done. Sometimes that seems unfair because some people really don't get that much time to do anything.On the other hand if you take advantage of the time you do have and you do things the way you want it done why have regrets? Where does the need to do things over come from? Why is it even a desire for most? Just think about think about what answers you come up with. Share if you wish.

Coke Soda Keeps me Awake...

Yea the title says it all. I cannot drink coke soda cause then I will be staring at my laptop screen with nothing to do except try to think of what I can do on the internet. The funny part is my eyes are burning because they want to be closed so badly but my mind is racing just I just drank a cup of coke soda! (well I did but that's besides the point!). What did I do to deserve this? I was thirsty and didn't think about it before I drank the coke. I know that I can't handle my caffeine but did that deter me from drinking the coke soda???? NOPE IT DIDN'T. Anyways enough of my idleness I am going to bed. I rather stare at the tv anyways. Good night PEEPS I am off to bed.

What's Up?

It has been a while since I posted anything on this blog. Truth is I don't have anything to post about. I have been posting on my other blog about my weight loss journey. I started a 30 day challenge that encourages (read forces) me to exercise everyday twice a day. I am only on day 5 but so far it is going good. Additionally, I am learning a lot about myself. I am realising that sometimes it good to challenge yourself because it gives you opportunities to reflect on your work ethics and it gives you a chance to change through trial and error things you may want to change about yourself. I am learning that it is important to set goals for yourself because it provides a focus. Wondering aimlessly through life doesn't get you anywhere because you have no idea where you are going. It is like Tom Hanks at the end of the movie castaway, his life was not the way he had left it and he found himself at a cross road and had no idea which route to take because he had no directions to follow. Goals gives us a direction to travel in. 

Are you trying to achieve something? (Tips)

Write it down and then write down what you need to do to make those things happen. Give yourself a set time to achieve those goals be realistic, give yourself the time you think you would need in order to accomplish those goals. Reflect on how things are going, don't beat yourself up about it if you stumble along the way, shat happens just pick yourself up and try and again try again (little bit of Aaliyah for yall)... Finally Good Luck

Feeling Better

It really helps to have someone to talk to when you're feeling bad. Sir thank you so much for being that person. Ik hou van je. Je bent mijn engel...lol imagine me saying engel...lol HAHA that's funny 

Depression...

I have battled with depression for so long that I can barely remember when it started. About three years ago my depression had peaked and there were times I felt like i was going over the edge. I was on depression meds for a while and it did make me feel goodish but I also gained five lbs after taking them for a week. So I stopped taking them and the sadness came back.  But thats another story for another day. 

The last year and a half i would say that I have been able to manage my depression (with the help of God and   Sir) but now it feels like it is trying to take hold of me again. I have been trying to fight back tears for the last three days now and I really don't know what to do. I tell myself this will pass just try to stay positive and happy but the self coaching only makes it harder for me to hold back the tears. What I hate most about depression is that it sneaks up on you and it overwhelms you and it makes you feel like you don't have control on your life and that everything is way worse than it truly is. Nevertheless, I have made up my mind that I will not be a victim of depression. 

Rude People Rant

Since when is it the in thing to be rude? It is like everyone (well a large majority of persons) act like there isn't anything wrong with being rude! Are you kidding me? Last week in my oral communication class we had to give a speech about ourselves. One girl mentioned her dynamic pastor someone who she had great respect for and in the middle of her explaining what she liked about her pastor and another girl blurted out, "you talking about that sissy (gay) man?"

The whole class was shock that the other girl had the audacity to make a statement like that about the pastor. If he is a sissy that is between him and God how is that affecting anyone else's life???? Come on seriously???

Today I went to the store and I held the door open for this lady because she was struggling with her bags and she didn't open her mouth to say thank you yet. I was thinking (out loud) Miss is you serious??? Thank you should already be in your vocabulary but if you need me to teach you how to use it I can. She turned to look at me but the expression on her face read I know you aren't talking to me. I could have just left her there and not helped her with the door, hell i should have just left her there. I honestly do not have any patience for rude people. 

I swear the next person who is rude to me today is going to get it! 

Random Post: Just thoughts.

What can I say I miss Sir to pieces, every moment I spend with him is like total bliss for me. Even though, we aren't together right now the thought of me being with him brings joy to my soul. He just found out that he would be coming here three days earlier than we had planned originally in December. Can someone say I am gonna have a holly jolly Christmas?

Besides that, I had a good day so far, I am behind as far as my lifestyle change goes but thats OK I am not going to be hard on myself about it; I realise that everything is done in the time it's suppose to be done. Sometimes we try to fight against the things that are meant to happen and sometimes we fight for things that for which we aren't prepared. I am certain that I will be able to lose the weight and be healthy for the first time in my life.  

Regardless, I thank God for so many things, I really couldn't wish for a better life. Through the struggles and the hardships I was able to grow stronger and become the person I am today. 

Already changing my plans

Today was supposed to be the day that I would take steps to living a healthier lifestyle but I am already considering postponing it to Wednesday because i don't have enough food in the house to create healthier meals... I feel so disappointed already because I was sure that I would do it today... I also feel disappointed in myself because I feel like I am making excuses.

Anyways we will see I am still going to exercise today though, I have this dvd called walk away the lbs I used to do it a lot before but I stopped before I got in the habit of doing it. I think I have the full set it start at 1mile and I think it goes up to a 6mile walk. I like doing that work out because it  is easy to follow and I can get through the program and still fell like I got some exercise in it. 

I have decided that I will make my weight loss blog public. That way I would feel more accountable and maybe that will give me the push I need to do what I need to do... 

New Journeys

Starting  on Monday I am going to be starting four new "journeys" to help me become the person I want to be. First I am going to start taking better care of my skin. I have suffered from acne since I was about 15/16 and at the age of 26 I am still struggling to get clearer skin. My second journey is a healthy lifestyle/weight loss journey. The third is taking better care of my hair and finally I am going to take better care of my health. The final one is a bit different from the weight loss journey because it has more to do with me getting my thyroid levels under control and taking my medication the way I should. 

I must say that I am completely motivated to doing this so I know it will work. I created two new blogs to document my Hair and Weight loss Journeys but I made them private I am not sure if I want to share the information I will post on those blogs. 

I hope i can stay committed because this is something I really want for myself... 

Sad side of Long Distance Relationships... Saying Goodbye.

Sitting here listening to the clock, I think about the time we have left together just ticking away. I feel pathetic because this is not goodbye it is simply so long see you in December. I feel pathetic because while others shed tears for a long lost love, lovers and partners they will never see again,  I am shedding them for someone I will see again in a few months.

Let me be selffish for this one moment and think only of my sadness no matter how pathetic it may seem. Cause the time we are apart my heart dies and is lonely and awaits the time we will be together again. I am going to dry my tears and put on a smile and think about the happy times we have when we are together. 

Love sucks sometimes,,, But I am in this forever there is no turning back because you are the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. 

Wedding Day Woes Maybe?

Sir and I got officially engaged a few months ago...I dont know if I should say officially because we didn't have a ring, (we took our ring money and went to Andros for four days...lol) Anyways, we know that we want to get married some time next year, however, as far as planning the wedding and our big day goes we discussed that we just want to do something quick and easy that involves us spending as little money as possible. Originally, we thought to go to city hall and sign some papers then go on a 2 week road trip around Europe (well nearby countries) and just enjoy a fantastic and adventurous honeymoon. Now our wedding plans are dependent on where we are going to live. (The Bahamas or The Netherlands)

For some reason the idea of a hassle free, wedding is pleasing to me. I don't need the spotlight to be on me, I want it to be our day a day we will remember and something that is private and only for us both. Ironically my values and ideas of a wedding and wedding day have changed drastically since I met Sir. When I imagined myself getting married I pictured my future husband and I surrounded by 20 of our closest family members followed by a blowout party that included everyone who didn't have the privilege of being invited to the wedding. But now when I picture my wedding day I only see Sir and Me standing before each other making the promise of always being together and sticking with each other from now and forever regardless of the struggles we may face as time passes on. Then us going off to enjoy the start of our marriage lives. I must say that I am really curious how our wedding day will pan out. Either way I am sure we will be laughing a whole lot cause we always have a great time together regardless...lol This dude...lol